Cinderella Complex

I recently watched the new Cinderella movie—don’t worry I won’t ruin the movie for you, but I will say I absolutely loved it. It seems the entertainment industry is changing their narrative about women.

For so many years the message was to little girls that you can’t…

You can’t do it on your own.

You can’t be strong and independent.

You can’t be anything you want to be.

You can’t stand up without being called a negative term.

You can’t do it alone without a man.

You do need saving from a knight in shining armor.

Is that really the message we want to give to our girls? Is that really the narrative we want for our boys to be looking for in such a girl?

While raising my daughter anytime we watched a movie where the “damsel in distress” was saved by a man-hero we had a conversation. I never wanted her to think she needed a man to complete her. I never wanted her to think she couldn’t do it on her own. I never wanted her to think she needed another to be at her full potential.

Yes, the entertainment industry can influence our kids but we as parents can step in and assert more influence.

What this meant for my daughter was that she was quite intimidating to young men. I remember the first time a boy called her. Being very nervous he told her that he had a phone list from school and was calling people on it. I heard her say, “Well, Ashley’s name was on that list before my name, did you call her too?”

It made me laugh.

He never called her again.

Many of us hold a belief that we need another to complete us. Two people together make one whole person. This is so untrue. A person is not a half of a person. In a good and vibrant relationship you have two whole people who choose to be together—to love, honor, and cherish.

Not because they NEED each other to be whole.

I am glad the narrative is changing with movies and TV shows. Our girls don’t need saving from a man. And yet, at the same time, love and family is one of God’s greatest gifts. I chose to marry young. I have chosen to respect my husband and honor his wisdom. I have chosen to support him while he pastors.

I am impowered.

I am equal to him.

I am whole all by myself.

And I have the full support of my husband too.

How about you do you feel you need another to be whole?

Choose to believe in yourself and know you are loved and cherished and valuable just as you are.

AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOULD, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH. The second is this: YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. There is no other commandment greater than these.”  

– Mark 12:30-31

We love God…and then, we must first love ourselves before we can love others fully.

Want more from Lucille Williams? Order a copy of “The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace.” For marriage tips “From Me to We,” and “The Intimacy You Crave” can help you get the relationship you dream of.