4 Tips to Raise a Leader

I accompanied my daughter to my little grand-baby’s Mommy & Me swim class. At the end of class, which took place in conjunction with older kids classes, as Monica and Jacob were drying off we overheard a mom talking to one of the swim instructors.

Concerned Mom: “Well…um…you see…since his vision is impaired it is hard for him to pay attention and….”

The rest of the conversation was filled with “Mom excuses.”

At this point I’d like to cut in and say I was watching the swim classes. All the kids—and I mean ALL the kids—were doing more than fine. Why was this Mom making excuses for her son? Hmmmm. My mind was racing… I wonder what Monica thinks about this? I mean, Jacob was more interested in licking the water than blowing bubbles. Might she come up with a few mom mitigations for her not yet two-year-old son?

When we got in the car Monica said, “Geez, let the kid learn! That poor kid. So what if he wears glasses? He can still swim.” I laughed. She continued, “Tim [her brother], was far sighted and near sighted and you didn’t go around making excuses for him!” I was so relieved to hear her say that. Having a boy herself I was hoping she didn’t see that Mom as a Rescue Hero.

Raising boys is difficult work. Our society has many rules for raising boys. Love but don’t baby. Make him tough. Life is hard don’t pamper him. Perhaps we need to rethink some of those?

What are some ways we can encourage leadership qualities in our boys with guidance and love?

4 Tips:

• Let him make decisions on his own and then praise those decisions, even if you don’t always totally agree with each one. Praise the decisiveness and his ability to take action. Praise. Praise. Praise.
• Follow him from time to time. I took my boys places and allowed them to lead the way. As in, “Do what you want and I will follow you.” Parks, hikes, amusement parks, etc. The world is a training ground. Sit back and relax as often as possible.
• Allow him to make his own mistakes. Decisions regarding sports or other extra-curricular activities. School decisions and what classes they take. How about purchases? Allow him to make mistakes with purchases so he can learn. Allow him to learn life lessons while he is still living with you. He will be better prepared for life on his own. Mistakes is how children–and adults–learn.
• Don’t make excuses for him. Mommy can’t always be there to write notes, fix mistakes, and plead his case. How will he learn to flourish in this world without ever having to navigate difficult people and circumstances? Life is difficult, there is nothing we can do to shield our kids from that fact.

“Love but don’t baby.” How about we just love. And love all out.

“Make him tough.” How about we allow him to feel all the feelings God has given him without shame?

“Life is hard don’t pamper him.” How about we teach, guide, and love unconditionally?

We only have our kids for a short time. Let’s use every opportunity to build our children up to be used in mighty ways. And remember to love all out with grace.

Fondly,

Lu

Lucille Williams is the author of “From Me to We” and “The Intimacy You Crave: Straight Talk about Sex and Pancakes”   order a copy today to enhance your marriage. Subscribe to LuSays for weekly updates.