While in church with my husband I was distracted. Someone had followed us in, and as I turned I realized it was my daughter and son-in-law. They had dropped the baby off in the nursery and were there to enjoy church, just the two of them. There would be no distractions from the baby this week and their anticipation was evident.
Alone at last. Ahhhh.
The thing was they didn’t seem like they were in church. They seemed like they were on a date. Y’all, I’m not kidding. They were passing googly eyes at each other and holding hands and sneaking kisses. And whispering too, yes, in church! (Luckily we were in the way back.) This warmed my heart immensely. Then suddenly, right when the sermon was roaring strong, Monica was paged from the nursery. Date over. As she walked away my son-in-law and I gave each other the sad face.
Still, after three years of marriage, and the demands of caring for a baby, they still have sparks and excitement and giddiness.
How can this be?
So many lose these types of fireworks after years together, and especially, after children arrive.
What’s their secret?
Do you still feel like love birds in your marriage?
Sometimes the secret can be simple, and right under our nose.
In this case, it literally was right under my nosy mother-in-law nose.
I began contemplating the kindnesses I’ve observed, which turn into a marriage where church turns into a DATE.
Ready? I’m going to open up their personal life up close and in your face. This is kind of how I do life, all out and up close and in your face. I am aware that this could get me in some hot water, so, Yes, I’ll babysit so you can have another date night.
Which lands me on my first point…
They have regular date nights. In fact, for Christmas my son-in-law gave my daughter a booklet of “dates.” Guys: take notes! It was one of the sweetest kindest gifts I’ve ever heard of. And she went crazy over it. The kind of crazy that screams to others, I have the best husband in the world crazy.
And Monica, she’s the kind of wife who is always looking out for her husband and always looking for ways to bless him. Whether it be to cook special dishes for him or get up early to workout with him before he leaves for work or to encourage him to hang out with his friends, her mindset is always to bless, and not, What’s in it for ME?
She cheers for him and respects him. Two words stand out that I hear her frequently say: Thank you. If you spend any time with her you will hear her say those words to him within an hour or less. And why? Because he’s quick with a hand to help and she’s quick to give thanks. Kyle, like Monica, is not asking, What’s in it for ME? But instead he’s looking for ways to bless her. He looks out for her and cherishes and protects her. She stubs her toe and he’s ready to drive her to the hospital.
And, this point is most important, he puts up with me.
They sound like the perfect two little love birds, don’t they?
Do they have the perfect two little love birds’ life?
No. No, not at all.
They’ve had many challenges from Cancer to communication struggles to having to end dates early because your little prince is screaming in the nursery.
Here’s the skinny: They don’t ignore challenges by wishing struggles away, expecting them to vanish like money at Disneyland. They face challenges head on.
And here, my friends, may be that little nugget of grandiose truth…
When we work through our struggles in marriage, and face challenges head on, it forges the way for a lasting, fulfilling, and God honoring marriage.
Do you want to feel madly in love in your marriage? Try applying some of the Love Birds’ simple secrets.
Want to hear Lu up close and personal? Sign up today before it’s too late: June 2-4 Angeles Crest Mother/Daughter Retreat. Or pick up a copy of Lu’s new book, “From Me to We: A Premarital Guide for the Bride- and Groom- to- Be.”