Longing for Love and Approval


I believe that each baby is born with the longing for love and approval. It is a gift that a parent can either give or withhold. Children long to know their parents love and approve of them. This gives parents a lot of power over their children. It can be destructive or the most beautiful gift one can possess on earth.

If you have been given this gift of parental love and approval, you are truly blessed. Take a moment and realize how fortunate you are. Even if you only have it from one parent, it is still a gift that many long to have.

Only those who are withheld love and approval from their parents know the pain and emptiness this unfulfilled yearning brings.

Those who don’t have this gift do all kinds of things to try and get it. Could it be the reason many turn to alcohol, drugs, or over eating, as an attempt to mask the pain and emptiness of longing for love and acceptance from their parent(s)? It has been said that most prison inmates grew up without the love and approval of a father, and in many cases a mother as well.

Children look to their parents asking, “Who am I? Am I worthy of love?” and it is parents’ God-given job to answer that question. If you are a parent, how have you answered that question? Your kid(s) need to know you love, accept, and approve of them. They need to hear, not only “I love you,” but “I am proud of you.” When was the last time you praised something they did? When was the last time you verbalized your unconditional love and acceptance? When was the last time you communicated that you were elated with them for just being them?

Give your child the gift of unconditional love and approval; please don’t withhold this priceless gift.

If you are a “child” who longs for love and approval from your parent(s) but no matter what you say or do, it eludes your grasp, maybe it is time to accept you may never get that gift. Stop trying to fill that longing in all the wrong places.

It is time to turn to the Father of all gifts and accept His unconditional love and approval. God never withholds his love. He loves you no matter what.

6 thoughts on “Longing for Love and Approval

  1. I have just been reflecting on this as well Lu. How for a child, his parents are the first mirrors he actually sees himself. His worthiness, his sense of self-worth. And most of all, how he first interprets life and God. Thank you for this message. For parents and for children. And unconditional love. Sharon

    1. Sharon, so true! Parenting is such a huge responsibility and such a privilege! Thank you for your comment!

  2. Lu, you write so beautifully. I feel moved everytime I read a post like this on your blog. I have thought about this so often. I do feel because I had parents who loved, and still do love me unconditionally. I am a much better parent. If you have recieved love then it is easy to give love.

    Also, there was a poem on one of your posts I cant seem to find it. Can you tell me which post it was?

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