Letting Go of Regret as a Parent

“For nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).

As a parent we have tremendous responsibility. Some might say overwhelming responsibility. What I see today with parents is a burden for compliant children and a crushing duty to get results with their kids. I completely understand this, while I was raising my three now adult children I had goals or a mission statement of sorts on the side of my refrigerator. One of the “goals” was to raise kids who love and serve God. Now that I look back, was that really my responsibility? 

Sure, it was my intent to have a home which fostered the love and kindness of Jesus and one where all were loved and introduced to our Savior. But results? Was that really my responsibility or under my control?

As a parent we do have a certain accountability. It is under our God-given assignment to love our children. And to love our children unconditionally. It’s a parent’s job to provide an environment where a child can thrive with a warm and loving home. A parent needs to offer understanding and look out for a child’s emotional needs as well as their physical needs. It’s a parent’s ordained role to pray unceasingly for their children—this seems to come naturally when we have kids—who hasn’t screamed out to God for help and direction? It’s a parent’s joy to delight in their children, to take them to church, to introduce them to the love of Jesus.

But what is not the responsibility of a parent? What is it that only God can do with our kids?

-The conviction that one is going in the wrong direction—that comes from God, only God convicts from within us. Yes, it is the job of a parent to guide with care and teach consequences. But conviction? That’s all God.

-The hunger and thirst for righteousness and righteous living. Yes, we can point them to right and wrong but only God can create a righteous life. “Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10).

-A life committed to Jesus as Savior. Conversion is God’s alone. We can introduce, live a life surrendered to Christ, pray, serve our brethren, love unconditionally, but conversion is completely and solely God’s alone.

-Total love and adoration and surrender to God. A life lived for God under His guidance and care walking with Him daily is under God’s realm and not ours.

-Loving us as we are but loving us too much to leave us where we are. God loves us too much to not show us who we are and where we need to go—and He does this without discouragement.

-Being filled with the Holy Spirit and walking with God daily. Being filled with the Holy Spirit for service and a life set apart for Him. This is totally and completely the work of God the Father working in us and through us. “There is one body and one Spirit, just as you also were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:4-6). No one, no earthly person can do this, not even a parent.

Parent, stop beating yourself up! Stop taking responsibility for what only God can do.

Do you love your children?

Do you feed them?

Do you give them a safe home?

Do you share the love of Jesus with them?

You. Are. Enough. You are a parent who like God said about Job, “Have you considered my servant Job?” (Job1:8a).  That’s what God says about you. Have you considered my servant [insert your name]?

Leave the impossible with God.

Parent, God is cheering for you.

For more from Lucille Williams check out her books The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace, and for your marriage, From Me to We, and The Intimacy You Crave. And Turtle Finds His Talent for ages 2-6. We invite you to subscribe to LuSays today for regular encouragement.

*Some of this content was inspired from “Prodigals and Those Who Love Them” by Ruth Bell Graham