“You Have Cancer”

bandaidCancer affected our family in a beautiful way this past year.

“You have cancer.” No one wants to hear those words. Although I did not hear those words I did hear, “Mom, Kyle has cancer.” Kyle is my daughter’s boyfriend.

The way my family works is if one of us is affected by something, all of us are going through it. It’s just the way we are. Although I did not have cancer, nor did one of my family members, it still affected us deeply…very deeply.

Kyle was only 26 when diagnosed. How could he have cancer? But he did and it changed us forever. It changed us in a beautiful way.

When most young ladies would have chanted, “Where’s the fun in this? I’m young. I want to go out and have fun. “ My daughter said, “I don’t want anything from you. I am not expecting anything. I just want to help you through this.”

As I watched her, the student became the teacher. She taught me how to love more deeply. She taught me how to love through action. She taught me how to love sacrificially.

Kyle’s cancer required surgery, 12 weeks of chemotherapy, and now another surgery. He’s never complained. Not even when he could hardly talk because of the sores in his mouth. Not even when he lost his hair. Not even when he vomited…another time. Not even when he could hardly walk up a flight of stairs. Not even when he couldn’t eat. (I am certain I would complain if I couldn’t eat!)

When I received the honor of taking him to his chemotherapy treatments, I got to see cancer up close in a way I had never seen it before. The waiting room was full of sullen faces. The chairs lined with those choosing to have chemo run through their bodies because the alternative was far worse, and even the empty chairs next to each patient who had no one with them. I told God, “I never want to come here again…ever.” And yet Kyle laughed and told stories and smiled. Visibly he was a favorite among the nurses and staff. Going there became fun because of him.

Watching him it didn’t seem that bad. I know that sounds horrific and immensely insensitive, but something I had feared most seemed doable now. A person can tackle cancer with class and hope. It can be done without it robbing you of life and joy. It can be done with love. How?

I think the answer comes from Kyle’s own words during a sermon he preached to our mega-church congregation shortly after he had been diagnosed with cancer. He said, “We are not a people of despair. We are a people of hope.” With God there is hope.

As Kyle prepares for another surgery he said, “I’d rather have surgery then go through another round of chemo.” So, after all I guess it was pretty rough. He just didn’t let on.

Why? How?

“Because we are not a people of despair. We are a people of hope.” –Kyle Welch

5/29/15 Update: Today Kyle and Monica are happily married. He is the best son-in-law any mom could ever ask for! But most importantly he is Cancer free! Thank you, God!

14 thoughts on ““You Have Cancer”

  1. Thank you Lu for a beautiful tribute to Kyle and his battle with cancer. We praise God for putting Monica in Kyle’s life. She came with a beautiful, loving and supportive family. Since we, Kyle’s family, live two time zones away and could only be with him during the intensive weeks of chemo, we have been blessed that Monica has been there for him and with him when we could not.

    I emailed this scripture to Kyle last week.

    “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “~ Jeremiah 29:10-12

    God bless Monica and family for being an important player in God’s plan for Kyle’s life.
    Love from Lyle, Judy, Teresa and Doug Welch

  2. To Monica’s mom — thank you for sharing such a touching story about my nephew, Kyle with such love. He is blessed to have your family with him for support. Thank you for being there when his family is so far away. God put you in his life for a reason.

  3. I didn’t have any idea about this. I always enjoy Kyle when he preaches. My husband, Guy, had cancer two years ago (he is cancer free now), so I do have an idea of what Kyle is going through. I’m thankful to hear that Monica and your family are here supporting him. Thanks so much for sharing and we’ll be praying.

    1. Christin, thank you so much! I didn’t know your hubby battled cancer, so glad he is cancer free now. Praise God! Thank you for reading.

  4. Thank you for sharing your cancer experience. You are right..Cancer affects not just the families but friends as well. Few friends died of cancer last year. In 2013, my cousin has stage 4 rectal cancer and one of the ladies in our LifeGroup has stage 1 Breast cancer. I have seen it & experienced it as well. So, I hope & keeping praying for them for comfort & peace in their heart. Their FAITH with our LORD is keeping them alive & hopeful.

    1. Emely, I’m so sorry that you too have been affected by this terrible decease. Prayers to you and your family and friend. Thank you for your comment.

  5. Beautiful words! Knowing Kyle personally, I can confirm this: those are not just words, that is a motto of faith that he lives by. Truly a man of faith. Also, a great friend.

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