Why Are We Afraid To Show People Who We Really Are?

It dawned on me that the people in my life I love the most, the ones I have the biggest heart for, are those who are the most real and transparent. When someone is real—letting me in on who they really are, no facades, no phoniness—I want to be around them more. I become more attached and gravitate toward them. I love them more.

I like people who are truthful. We all have stuff we tend to hide for fear if revealed no one could possibly love us or accept us. Even when others reveal the ugly stuff, the nasty, ugly, dirty truth, for me it elicits feelings of adornment and understanding.

I am talking about transparency, being translucent enough to be recognizable as human beings, human beings having struggles that are common to all of humanity. That’s right, we all have struggles. We may not feel safe sharing those struggles with everyone, but hopefully we all have someone we can be our real self with.

In order to have deep, rich relationships I need to be willing to be me. Even if revealing “me” isn’t always pretty, even if being me is showing some of the ugly.

And I think that extends to our children as well…we need to be real with them too. Age appropriate, but nevertheless, real. If we hide who we really are from our children, can they ever really know us?

If we hide who we are, can anyone ever really know us? If we continually present a “fake” version of ourselves, how can we ever really feel loved? We then rob ourselves, and those we love, of an authentic relationship.

21 thoughts on “Why Are We Afraid To Show People Who We Really Are?

  1. Lu, I love that you write what you think. You write about the easy stuff and you open up to write the hard stuff. I may not always comment on here but I do think about it and talk to my husband about it. Thank you so much for writing these blogs.

  2. This is by far my most favorite of of your blogs! I was always taught to not let people know the real me. I was told I talk to much, I wear my emotions on my sleeve etc.. For a long time I held inside all the feelings and truths about my life thinking it would only damage and make things worse for myself if someone ever knew.
    It ended up being a form of self torment and confusion with no answers or guidance on life. It wasn’t till I saw that their were others who actually cared and had so much wisdom to offer that there was something different, a better way. Only then I allowed the real me to be slowly revealed. Once that happened life became so much more free. I wasn’t burdened with this internal struggle that never ended. I could begin to see people being placed in my life directly by God who could really help me to understand life. Not only were things beginning to make sense but I was making relationships that were strong and I could trust. Life and this amazing walk with Christ fell into place. It’s still a struggle sometimes but with God and the “real” people in my life I feel so much more stronger and at peace. I don’t always make the right choices but with genuine people in my life that not only don’t judge me but they show me the love and truth that Christ showed others. My children are so open and unafraid to talk about anything on their mind. They know that my husband and I are there to help and not judge. To put it out there what they feel and think so we together with Christ we can work out life. Just imagine if more people were “real” what strength we could pull together. Keep the thought flowing Ms. Lu! Keep making people stop to think what if!

    1. Chriss…Thank you for this! You are such an inspiration! And for the record, I do not think you talk too much!!!! Famous author John Townsend told me that we all need to have people on our lives who we can be “careless” with. In other words that we do not have to walk on egg shells with who love us just the way we are. I think you are pretty awesome!

  3. I love this! So very true.

    I’m learning how to be more open and true around people. I think the biggest barrier to this, for me at least, is revealing myself to people and having them think me a weirdo..

    So glad I found your blog, excited to read through old posts!

    1. Cerrine, thank you so much! I am a total weirdo, so join the club it’s fun! I embarrass my kids all the time, and my husband too, haha!

  4. If not me, who else could I be? I’m a really bad liar. I’d get fingered for a faker pretty quickly, I think. LOL

    I have a tendency to show a bit too much of myself (a/k/a/ my not-so-nice side), When I do, and feelings get hurt, I come back with a heartfelt apology and a renewed respect for each other. Life is too rich to put emphasis on the ugly parts – I prefer to enhance the joy in it instead.

    Very thoughtful post.

  5. I’m with you, Lu–let’s be authentic, transparent! If folks like us, they’ll probably love us–and if not, oh well. Despite my last name, a year on the blog has freed me up to be Me, and be bold. You have a really pretty blog–love the header! God bless you and your fam, abundantly–love, sis Caddo

    1. Wow, thank you! My daughter set up my blog, all I did was say “I like that!” haha! Really appreciate your kind words! Blessings to you!

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