Prepare for Poop: Confessions from a New Mom by Monica Welch


In honor of Mother’s Day we have a special guest post by my daughter, Monica Welch. Monica is a new mom, a writer, and a pastor’s wife. You will thoroughly enjoy this article. 

Prepare for Poop: Confessions from a New Mom by Monica Welch

I am going to talk about poop. In great detail. If you’re squeamish, proceed no further.

Raising an infant is an endless array of poopoo platters splattered across a cotton plate. I knew I was ready to get married when I was willing to clean up my husband’s vomit. Thus, I knew I was ready to be a mother when wiping another human being’s rear end became a testament of love.

Motherhood is the most comical journey upon which I have ever embarked. What else can you do but laugh when he’s been washed from head to toe and then decides to let one rip. Please don’t be poop, please don’t be p

And there it floats atop the water, mocking you. My 7-month-old wins: He gets to keep the party going (taking a bath is one of his favorite things in the world).

I am constantly amazed by how much you can talk about another person’s feces, in detail, with your spouse. This is a whole new layer to our marriage (and here I thought we were close before children). It’s astounding how we’ve bonded over our son’s bowel movements.

When Jacob was born, he was unable to “go” due to blockage (had no idea that was a thing). After 24 hours of empty diapers, the nurses took him away for a rectal massage. (Oh yes, oh yes, you read that correctly.) With my husband worried and watching, the two nurses crowded over Jacob and helped him take care of business. Suddenly, their heads popped up, giving my husband a thumbs up. We had lift off.

But as they glanced back down at the baby, they hurriedly ducked out of the way. In a moment of self-pride, Jacob had peed on the nurses. In fact, I’m fairly certain he peed on every nurse who attended to him.

How in the world, how in the world am I able to unconditionally love a child who kicks his poop all over his changing table, rolling it into every crevice within a 12-foot radius?! HOW?!! I have no idea how, but it is the easiest thing I have ever done in my life.

Being a new mom, it’s messy. Seriously, if I even get to touch my hair on any given day, I feel like a starlet. The days in which I make it to my makeup table? Hello world, I am a Victoria’s Secret model. Pleased to meet you.

It’s all so funny, because being a mom is hard. It’s messy. It pulls you in so many directions.

And I am loving it.

I am not a perfect parent, but God decided I was the perfect parent to raise Jacob. And one of the most perfect things I can teach my son is to laugh. So many things don’t go your way, but everything becomes so much better when you learn to laugh at yourself and the world around you.

How did I learn this? I learned it from my mom.

I never understood how she could always find the humor in every situation. I never understood how she took terrible circumstances and found what little good there was to enjoy. But now, as a mom, I get it.

My son will reflect what I choose to radiate. If I want him to laugh, I need to laugh. If I want him to be kind, I need to be kind. If I want him to know Jesus, I need to show him Jesus.

So, here’s to all those mommies out there at every stage of childrearing, from wiping little tushies to watching your child raise their own children: To you I say cheers and invest in some baby wipes.

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day!



Lucille Williams is a speaker, pastor’s wife, mom, proud grandma and the author of “From Me to We: A Premarital Guide for the Bride- and Groom- to- Be.” 


4 thoughts on “Prepare for Poop: Confessions from a New Mom by Monica Welch

  1. Gross, funny, but most importantly, so true. Becoming a mom was The best thing that ever happened to me. I loved reading this and as I’ve said before, Baby Jacob was blessed to be born to such an amazing family. Much love to you Monica and your beautiful family❤️

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