Have you ever held anything in that irritated you about your spouse for a long time and when it came out it was ugly and mean? When I say, “a long time,” I mean like 20 years, give or take a few. Yes folks, I’m getting personal.
It was a workday for me and I was feeling a lot of pressure. (I am already worried about being judged with this story and trying to lessen the blow!) Our son had to take his SAT exam early one Saturday morning. My husband, our son, and myself hastily headed out and had to drive to the other side of the world. (Being dramatic for effect.) Living in the Los Angeles area, of course, there was traffic…on a Saturday!
Our son says, “If I am late, I can’t take the test.” More pressure!
As we sat in traffic, my husband always got in the wrong lane—like usual!
There was way too much at stake and after over 20 years it was time to let loose! This is how it went:
“Why? Why are you in this lane? Get in that lane. Why do you always pick the worst lane to be in while in traffic? We are going to be late and if you’d only get in that lane, we would have a chance to get there on time! And while I’m on the subject, you are the worst parker in the world! There! I’ve been holding that in for over 20 years!”
There was complete silence in the car.
Then after a long pause my chauffeur husband said, “Let me ask you a question.”
I hesitantly said, “Okay.”
He took his time to ask, “Do you feel safe when I am driving?”
I didn’t hesitate, “Always.” (Wait, did I just say that?)
Silence. Then I broke into laughter.
Why is that man always right? I guess that is why I married him. So maybe I’m the smart one after all, huh?
Bottom line: Lesson learned.
Sometimes I can be a total idiot!
Have you ever noticed the thing that attracts you to your spouse is the thing that will drive you crazy later? I think it is best if we camp out on the attraction part. So, words of wisdom from this idiot today: Let your mind dwell on the good things about your spouse—the great attributes and what made you fall in love in the first place. And if you do have something constructive to say, say it with kindness, don’t blurt it out after 20 years.