I’ve been watching Hallmark Christmas movies with my husband y’all. We may be addicted. It has become a new Christmas tradition in the Williams home. I love the happy endings. I wait for it and then act like I didn’t see it coming, “Oh, how sweet, they’re in love.” It seems it’s always the same plot. Boy meets girls, girl has a boyfriend who doesn’t love her the way she should be loved, boy wins girl. Or the reverse…girl meets boy, boy has a terrible girlfriend, they finally breakup and girl wins boy. Happy ending. We all love happy endings. We all want a happy ending, don’t we? No one ever walks down the aisle thinking they are walking into Nightmare On Elm Street. No one would take that walk! We all think we are walking into a story like the movie The Notebook. If we didn’t think that why in the world would we get married?
Here’s my struggle with my marriage…
I took ME into it. I walked down the aisle with ME. I take ME wherever I go and sometimes ME isn’t pretty. I want The Notebook story, I really do, but to get there I continually have to battle with ME to hold up my end of the story.
Like take this week for instance…
I’ve been sick. Nothing serious, just that nagging cold that you need to get rid of because Christmas is coming whether you’re sick or not! My husband? He’s been over sweet. Keeping the house up and taking care of me, and getting me stuff.
Here’s the problem…
I don’t want to be sick. I want to get my stuff for myself. The nicer he’s been, the grumpier I’ve been and I don’t feel well and I just want things to go back to normal and I hate that I’m not my usual self and the more he takes care of me the more I’m reminded of that. Breathe. I’ll apologize to him, but then I go back to being grumpy. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to smile. I don’t want to pretend life is happy and Notebooky. I just don’t. And there’s my struggle. I often know what I need to do, but I just don’t want to. I just don’t feel like it.
And that’s the marriage dilemma I struggle with, I know what I should do, but I don’t feel like doing it, and I have to push through anyway.
I’ve got to pull it together no matter how I feel and treat my husband like the gift and the love of my life he is.
Period. I. Just. Have. To.
Just like in the Hallmark movies. In the end the best Christmas gift is love. True love. And if we have that, life really is good. Life really is a gift.
Soooo, what’s a girl to do? I need to apologize this time with an about-face. I need to be appreciative and take notice of all of his efforts. I need to accept the gift of love and helpfulness. And, I need to remember that my life can be a Hallmark Christmas movie if I keep working on ME.
Not an easy task! Are you with me? Will you push through even when you don’t feel like it? Will you fall, get up, and try again?
Fall, get up, and DO BETTER.
When we have the love of God, and our family, that truly is our best gift at Christmas.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Are you or someone you know newly engaged during this season? Order “From Me to We: A Premarital Guide for the Bride- and Groom- to- Be” by Lucille Williams. Need a speaker for an event in 2018? Get in touch with Lu through her Contact page.