Failing as a Wife


Sitting across from my 19-year-old during our lunch he pronounced,  “I feel really angry right now. I feel angry at you for the way you treated Dad.”

Wow. Really? Me? The woman who just blogged about having a great marriage? Really? Treat him bad? I don’t think so.

He definitely had my attention. And given the fact that he almost never displays anger it impacted me profoundly.

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“Dad has been overloaded lately. You’ve made things worse and added to his load by the way you’ve been acting.”

A tear rolled down my cheek.

He was right. My behavior had been out of line.

“I don’t want to make you sad. I mean, you’re a good mom and a good wife. But there isn’t anyone in your life who will call you on this.”

It was an extremely humbling experience. I told my son he was right and that I would be apologizing to his dad. I thanked him for calling me out.

After apologizing to my husband and being gracefully forgiven, I realized I needed to do an about-face. It is not enough to admit being wrong, we need to change our behavior. Isn’t it frustrating when someone says they are sorry and then turns around and does the same offense again? Don’t be that person.

If we truly desire to be the best version of ourselves we need to give credence to those brave enough to hold us accountable for our actions. To be the best wife, or husband, we need to continually look within and examine if we indeed are the problem. If you are not willing to examine yourself, your marriage will never be the best it can be.

I’ve spent much of my marriage feeling like I’m failing as a wife. But I think feeling like a failure has propelled me to do better and better.

Look within, make the changes, move forward. Never give up.

3 thoughts on “Failing as a Wife

  1. You are a sensitive and loving person. Yes, your 19 year old’s words were meant to be taken to heart and reflected upon. I am hardly the one to be giving thoughts on marriage– my marriage died after 20 years. Yet, I have to say that each person in marriage has the same responsibility to reflect on his/her life. What I’m trying hard to say is to be humble is godly, and, from what I gather from the Word, is that humility is for each of us to think rightly about ourselves– because inferiority isn’t how He wants us to feel.

  2. Margie,
    Thank you so much! Your sweet comment made my day better. I totally agree with you when you say, “to be humble is godly.” In a world where many are trying to move up and get ahead humility is at times hard to find. For me when someone displays humility I am drawn to them instantly. Blessings to you!

  3. Awesome article. You are definitely a child of the most high God. Thank you for sharing your wonderful testimony and being transparent when God wants you to be. There are so many people out there that need to hear what you have to say. God bless you always

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