Depression, The New Year, and Goals

The new year rolled in with all of its glory, whether you like it or not. It always does…even if you’re not ready. Were you ready this year? I thought as 2016 came to a close, I would be over the top elated. I mean, after all, 2017 holds my dream come true.

I knew my long awaited book would be available on April 1st of 2017. Talk about a dream come true, this is a dream I was scared to even imagine, a dream as a young person I would have never thought could ever be possible for me.

I had trouble reading as a kid and a friend helped me.

My young friend, Karen, would listen to me read every day—such an amazing gift from an elementary school child. (No surprise, we are still friends today.)

When the teacher would go around the classroom, and ask each student to read a paragraph, I would panic inside. I knew I’d be laughed at. I knew I’d feel shame. I knew I’d walk out of the classroom feeling like a failure. I’d count the paragraphs and try to prepare for mine—but it usually didn’t help. When my turn came to read out loud I’d pause at easy words like and or the or is, so the class didn’t know I was trying to figure out the big word up ahead.

Instead of excelling in academics I dove into fantasy. I liked to act and “play” other people. This I could do well, and I hid there.

As 2016 was wrapping up I found out my book was available for pre-order—after a short solo celebration, and a good cry, thanking God for all He made a path for, I was overtaken with emotions I wasn’t ready for. I felt despair, hopelessness, and depression.

Where did this come from?

I should be dancing and leaping around the streets with glee! Instead, I felt down and depressed. I did my best to try and figure out what was going on. I maintained my regular time with God, and focused on the blessings in my life.

And then, one day my daughter was over. Monica was talking about someone who had obtained all of their goals, and then flippantly said, “Now they need to make new goals.”

“What?!”

“Huh?”

“Monica, say that again.”

“Now they need to make new goals.”

That was it! That was the message God had for me. It’s time to make new goals.

I had been focusing on what had been done, and not looking to my future. So much of my life had been geared toward accomplishing my goals in the future, with my most important one as a mom. Can I share that one with you? My number one goal as a mom was to raise children who loved and served God. After our youngest left for Bible college last August, and continued to serve at his church in Missouri, my most precious request of God had been accomplished. Amen?

Not only did I need to make new goals with regard to writing, but I needed to make new goals with regard to my family. Of course, my purpose to support and love and help my husband to be all that God called him to be would remain the same, but my kids were grown, so what now? Well, duh! I’m a grandmother now. One of my new purposes and goals is to have a relationship with all of my grandchildren—which there are two now, but I’m hoping for more. Can I get another Amen?

As soon as I realized I needed to rewrite my life’s mission statement, and make new goals, the sadness lifted.

I don’t think we are to remain stagnant and relish in past accomplishments. If we are still breathing we need goals to strive toward.

How about you?

Do you have clear goals for this year?

Do you have clear objectives for your future?

 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:18-19

Our magnificent God will make a way for you. He shines a light on our path.

I invite you to celebrate marriage with me and pre-order my book:

 From Me to We: A Premarital Guide For the Bride- and Groom- to- Be is available now on pre-order online at AmazonBarnes & NobleTarget, and Christianbook.com.

Blessings to you, my friend!

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