Broken Heart

Some days I can be going through my routine with a heart that is broken, smashed, and aching, and with lungs that can hardly breathe. But if you intersect with me on one of those days I can become an actress worthy of an academy award.

broken heart“How are you doing? How are the kids? How’s Mike?”

“Oh, everyone’s great.”

Am I lying? Perhaps. But some things you just can’t hash out with everyone or no one. Some things you just can’t talk about, partly because if you did you wouldn’t be able to hold it together. Faking it is the only way to get through the day.

So, what do you do with a mangled heart and faulty lungs?

I’ll tell you what I do…

I take it to God. I cry and let it out. I ask the God of all compassion and understanding for wisdom. Then I listen…really listen to what God has to say. My next step sometimes is to seek out someone who is safe, who I can trust, someone I can talk to who will not judge me. Many times that person is my husband.

I stay in my Word and praise God. Yes, praise Him, because no matter what is happening you can always find blessings to thank Him for.

In the end, I accept God’s peace and joy in the midst of the trial (James chapter 1). I didn’t say it was easy, and sometimes it remains hard to breathe, but this process always makes me feel a little better each day, enough to fake it for another day until God heals my heart and restores my lungs.

God puts broken hearts back together. God turns our sorrow into joy.

5 thoughts on “Broken Heart

  1. Lu, you have captured so perfectly what that kind of journey is like. Going through my divorce, there were many, many people who didn’t even know it was happening, or the details behind it all. And, yes, for those people I was “fine”. Sometimes, just the thought of talking about it, yet again, was more than I could bear, so “fine” was the best answer, because I was simply tired of talking and crying about it. And I got through by doing exactly what you recommend. I used to think I knew what a sacrifice of praise was, but then I found myself praising God when my husband was gone and I had no job, my kids were angry at their dad, and well-meaning people were telling me to “just pray” and all would be well. I also really learned, for the first time in my life, what true forgiveness looks like. And it’s an amazing place to be. When you truly listen to God, He teaches you some amazing things about Himself, and yourself.

  2. Lu this is such an honest post! I go through this so often and it seems like God is the only answer I can come up with. It feels like everything is going to be ok after I have cried it out in front of God. And then talked to someone close. Most of the times with me too, it is my husband.
    Thanks so much for sharing and sending many hugs your way.
    Hang in there. This too shall pass.

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