It dawned on me that the people in my life I love the most, the ones I have the biggest heart for, are those who are the most real and transparent. When someone is real—letting me in on who they really are, no facades, no phoniness—I want to be around them more. I become more attached and gravitate toward them. I love them more.
I like people who are truthful. We all have stuff we tend to hide for fear if revealed no one could possibly love us or accept us. Even when others reveal the ugly stuff, the nasty, ugly, dirty truth, for me it elicits feelings of adornment and understanding.
I am talking about transparency, being translucent enough to be recognizable as human beings, human beings having struggles that are common to all of humanity. That’s right, we all have struggles. We may not feel safe sharing those struggles with everyone, but hopefully we all have someone we can be our real self with.
In order to have deep, rich relationships I need to be willing to be me. Even if revealing “me” isn’t always pretty, even if being me is showing some of the ugly.
And I think that extends to our children as well…we need to be real with them too. Age appropriate, but nevertheless, real. If we hide who we really are from our children, can they ever really know us?
If we hide who we are, can anyone ever really know us? If we continually present a “fake” version of ourselves, how can we ever really feel loved? We then rob ourselves, and those we love, of an authentic relationship.